Appreciation for Lily from NMIXX, specifically the kind of person she seems to be.

I feel like Lily gets appreciated a lot for being funny, outspoken, talented, etc., but I don’t see enough discussion about something I genuinely admire about her: She seems to have a surprisingly strong sense of accountability and basic human decency for someone who has grown up in an industry where those things can very easily get swallowed by image management. And I’m not saying she’s perfect or that we know what she’s like privately. We obviously don’t. I’m talking about the patterns we’ve actually been able to see from her over the years.

1. She refuses to participate in the “women competing with women” thing.

This is probably my favorite example. She once said to a fan:

“Never ever compare women who are all amazing. Why are we comparing? They can all be pretty at the same time.”

That is such a small thing, but I LOVE the instinct behind it. She actively rejected the idea that two women have to be ranked against each other. And this matters in K-pop especially, because female idols are constantly pitted against one another over beauty, popularity, bodies, talent, brands, charts, etc. I recently came across another YT short where the OP had mocked a member from another group for singing a hard song with voice cracks and compared it to Lily singing it properly. And then I was glad to see that the comment section was filled with people saying the above quote by Lily. It just shows that when an idol speaks out and supports people, they have the ability to spread the right message among fans.

1. She actually calls out disrespect, even when it’s directed at HER.

This is another thing I appreciate. During a livestream, someone commented that Lily’s bleached hair looked “dead.” She basically went.

“That’s so mean… why would you say that? … You can keep it to yourself.”

BUT THEN SHE ALSO SAID SHE FORGAVE THEM.

She didn’t normalize the person being unnecessarily mean, but she also didn’t turn one stupid comment into a massive hate train. The message was essentially:

“That was mean. Don’t talk to people like that. But I’m not going to spend the rest of my live hating you.”

That is honestly a pretty healthy way to handle conflict.

1. She’s willing to correct people when someone’s words are being unfairly represented.

There was an interview this year where Haewon described herself as 개인주의 as a trainee ; meaning more individualistic/self-oriented. The translator initially rendered it as “selfish.” Lily immediately reacted and corrected the wording to “individualistic.” That might seem ridiculously minor, but I think it’s important. She wasn’t even the person being described. She heard her friend being characterized more negatively than what she had actually said. That’s a good quality in a friend.

1. She seems genuinely interested in talking about difficult subjects with fans.

This is where her book club is actually really cool. Lily’s Lily’s Lost the Plot project isn’t just “here’s my favorite book, guys!” She discusses books and movies with fans and has gotten into topics including:

• toxic masculinity
• grief
• loneliness
• self-absorption within fandom
• relationships
• identity and growing up

That’s pretty unusual for an idol’s fan content. And I think the important part is that she’s not positioning herself as some all-knowing intellectual. She’s basically asking the opinions of her fan on things she just read/watched. That’s a much healthier relationship with an audience than treating fans like people who exist solely to praise you. Teen Vogue recently described the project as a space for thoughtful discussion, and Lily herself explained that she started it largely because she loves talking about things she loves.

1. She actually seems to understand that idols have influence over young people.

This one really stuck with me. At the end of her recent Teen Vogue interview, she was asked if she had anything else she wanted to say. She could’ve promoted NMIXX or talked about herself. Instead, she chose to talk about teenagers’ mental health and self-image. Her message was essentially that someone’s appearance is the least interesting thing about them, that they should take care of their health, and that they shouldn’t believe everything they see online. That is something I really appreciate. Because she seems conscious of the fact that there are young people watching her.

1. She’s unusually comfortable admitting that she doesn’t have all the answers.

This is something that gets lost because Lily is very outspoken. From her interviews and livestreams, she often comes across as someone who’s willing to talk through a thought, change direction, joke about herself, or acknowledge that something is complicated. And that’s important because being a good role model isn’t the same thing as being perfectly correct all the time.

I’d actually trust someone more if they can say “I don’t know” or reconsider something than someone who acts like they have the moral high ground 24/7.

1. Even her more ridiculous moments show how little she seems interested in maintaining a perfectly manufactured persona.

Lily is… Lily. She’s said some absolutely unhinged things on livestreams, has accidentally spoiled things, talks about random topics for ages, gets extremely passionate about books/movies/music, and generally has the energy of someone who occasionally forgets she’s an internationally famous idol. And honestly?

I think that’s healthy.

Not because idols should have zero boundaries, but because she doesn’t seem obsessed with projecting this impossibly polished personality at every second. She can be serious when something matters and completely ridiculous five seconds later. That combination makes her feel human.

1. She’s a good example without needing to be treated like a saint.

And THIS is probably the biggest reason I wanted to make this post. I don’t think “Lily is a good person” should mean:

Lily has never made a mistake and therefore everything she does is morally correct.

That’s parasocial nonsense. She’s a human being. She’s going to say dumb things sometimes. She’s going to misunderstand things sometimes. She’s going to have bad days. We don’t know her privately. But from what she’s publicly shown us, there are certain qualities that I genuinely think are worth appreciating:
She doesn’t like women being pitted against each other.
She doesn’t tolerate unnecessary cruelty.
She defends people when their words are being misrepresented.
She encourages people to think for themselves.
She seems conscious of the influence she has on younger fans.
She can stand up for herself without turning everything into hatred.
And she doesn’t seem afraid to be an actual person instead of a perfectly sanitized idol character.

That’s the kind of idol I personally find worth looking up to. Not because she’s flawless.

But because the values she repeatedly seems to gravitate toward and treating other people like actual human beings. These are are good values regardless of whether you’re an idol or just some random person on the internet.