Hello Reddit!
Well, I’m finally back on this app, lol. I deleted it when ARIRANG dropped so I could just engage with the album without other people’s opinions influencing me. In my time being gone, I went to a BTS concert, and a trip to Japan and Korea. I have really enjoyed being away from fandom spaces… which is crazy to say because I’ve been in spaces like this since I was 11. (14 years ago LOL)
When I was on Reddit and Twitter before this, I felt so much pressure to enjoy the album because it was their first comeback in a long time. Then I felt like the entire internet was against BTS and that I was being insulted by every Anti-ARMY/BTS post I came across. Honestly, it was just exhausting. And when I realized I was dreading to open my notifications, I decided I would take a break for the first time in my life.
I won’t go too much into how I felt about ARIRANG, as that is a different topic, and I’d rather use this time to address the topic of K-pop fandoms.
BTS concert was phenomenal. ARMY were so kind, and helped my disabled grandmother get down to her seat (row 15 in the 100’s). It was very hot in Vegas- there were army passing out water, checking in on my mom and grandma as they sat off to the side in the shade. They purposely went out of line to give freebies to my family since they were missing out not being in line with others. Overall, I had such a wonderful time. ARMY have a bad rep online- and I understand why. But being offline and just engaging with people in the REAL WORLD really pushed all that negativity away.
In Japan and Korea, I was constantly being asked about my photocards and BT21 plushies on my bag. I spoke broken Japanese or Korean to a fan who spoke broken English back to me. We laughed, smiled, and just… everything felt nice. BOYNEXTDOOR had a release while I was in Japan, and while I’m not a fan of their work, their fans were SO NICE AND POSITIVE. They traded photocards in such a meticulous way, and when they noticed my photocards on my bag were BTS and not BND, they would say something sweet anyways.
In Korea I made a spur of the moment decision to go on a ‘BTS ARMY TOUR’ with 9 other strangers. Only my guide and one other girl spoke English, but the other ARMY in the group made an effort to try and speak a little English. I did my best to speak Japanese back. In the end, we really clicked despite the language barrier.
I came back to the US a couple weeks ago, and continued to stay off of K-Pop fandom spaces. Anything I learned about was usually from my friend (she’s a STAY) or something on Google news that would pop up. Other than that, I was just chilling.
Maybe it’s because I’m 25 now and have a functioning and fully developed frontal lobe… but wow. I never realized how nice it is to engage in things without being surrounded by people either idolizing everything around it or hating everything from it.
I don’t have time to argue with strangers online, defending myself over why I like a group, how I can support them, etc. I love BTS. I’m listening to their music. Supporting them. That’s good for me because I’m happy. I don’t defend BTS to anyone, I don’t care really what anyone thinks. Just because you know that I like BTS doesn’t mean you know anything about who I am.
I feel like K-Pop spaces are the most toxic fandom spaces I’ve been in (except Homestuck- nothing will ever come close to that.) But meeting fans in the real world (even if they’re not fans of BTS) has really helped me realize that spaces like these hold such a SMALL amount of the whole. Such a minuscule amount of toxic people, compared to the wonderful people I know personally or have met at concerts/cupsleeve events/etc.
I guess all of this is to say that if there’s anyone else out there like me who feels that their group and fandom is constantly being hated on (ARMY, Stay, Once, V.I.P, etc) and that maybe their fandom really is messy… Just go out. Our reliance on the internet for entertainment and relationships is so bad. Heck, I’ve started going to cupsleeves of groups I like casually just to meet fans irl. It’s just so much better.
I do realize as well that a lot of teens engage in spaces like this. Being a teenager doesn’t excuse you from criticism, but I think one day you’ll look back on all of these “fanwars” and time you spent thinking about how much you hate another group and just laugh. Or cringe. I’ve been there, don’t worry. (Voltron ship wars of 2017 was not for the weak.)
Also, please do not take this as “don’t have discussions about groups and critique them”. When I talk about comments, it’s things that are just plain hate. I’m sure you can tell the difference.
“Jisoo isn’t really my type, but that doesn’t mean she’s ugly.” versus
“Jisoo isn’t a fat ugly pig. Oink Oink.”
“Jin could use some more vocal training so he can hit those higher notes with more clarity. if he can’t, then he should work a little lower.” versus
“Jin’s voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard oh my god I don’t understand how people can listen to him.”
“Bang Chan does some things that make me cringe and feel uncomfortable, but I know he’s just trying to appeal to the fans that enjoy those things.” versus
“Bang Chan is approaching 30 and he still acts like a teenager. He’s so WEIRD when he talks on Bubble, doesn’t he know he has YOUNG FANS??”
I don’t think fandoms will change anytime soon, but hopefully we start to change how we talk about these things. <3
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