Jansangbeom (50Mang) English cover help?

I’m attempting to make an English cover of Jansangbeom by 50Mang. I’m a folklore nerd in general (which led to this), but I’m not a Korean-speaker, which of course complicates things. I have the majority of a draft of the lyrics done, I’d just like other opinions before I finalize it.

Would anyone be willing to take a look at what I have (from a music angle or a folklore angle), or point me in the direction of someone/a subreddit that can help, please? Thank you in advance.

(Apologies if this subreddit or flair isn’t the place for this kind of post.)

submitted by /u/Adventurous-Bet6764
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