i had my first fancall ever with my ult bias today and ever since it ended i’ve been feeling the complete opposite of what i expected.
the call itself wasn’t terrible but afterward I started replaying every second in my head, wondering what they thought of me, whether I came across as awkward, whether they enjoyed the interaction, etc. i know there’s no way to know the answers, but my brain won’t stop looking for them.
thr weirdest part is that I almost feel embarrassed that they “perceived” me. before the fancall, they were someone I admired from a distance. now they know what I look and sound like, even if it was only for two minutes.
i’ve been trying to force myself to watch content from my group, hoping it’ll make me feel the way it did before the fancall, but it hasn’t. it’s honestly made me question my relationship with the group, which is something I never expected.
i’m not blaming my bias at all. they were working, and I know a fancall is part of their job but i’ve watched a lot of their fancall videos and they seemed more high energy with the fan. and i feel like my call was awkward. i guess I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar. not necessarily a “bad” fancall, but an emotional crash afterward, or feeling strangely disconnected from your bias or group after finally meeting them. i kind of wished i never won. 🙁
submitted by /u/floofbunz
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