Hi guys!!!🙋♀️
I’m in my mid-20s, and I recently moved from South Korea to North America.
I’m not ethnically Korean, but I was born in South Korea because of my parents’ work and spent my entire life there until I graduated from university. I also have permanent residency in South Korea.
After moving here, I decided to start college all over again as a freshman. I plan to spend the rest of my life here, and I really hope that works out.
Looking back, I realize just how scary, uncomfortable, and anxiety-inducing living in South Korea was for me.
There are several reasons why I decided to leave, but today I want to talk about the one that affected me the most.
I’m a transgender woman, and I haven’t undergone any surgeries or started hormone therapy.
From my experience, South Korea is an incredibly difficult place to live as a minority like me, especially compared to other developed countries. I’ve even heard that Japan is somewhat better in this regard.
**1. The risk of being arrested or facing legal consequences for using women’s restrooms or women-only facilities**
You may have seen news reports from South Korea about men entering women’s restrooms, getting reported to the police, being arrested, and even having to appear in court.
This is something I’ve never been able to understand.
I’m not talking about secretly filming anyone or committing any other crime. I’m talking about simply using a restroom.
Does it really make sense that someone could be arrested and end up in court just for entering and using a restroom? In a worst-case scenario, they might even end up being detained.
As a foreigner, this is especially terrifying to me. Even though I’m a permanent resident of South Korea, I worry that if I were arrested and convicted, I could potentially lose my permanent residency and face deportation.
The thought of having to go back genuinely scares me.
**2. Changing my legal gender marker is practically impossible in South Korea**
For Korean citizens, legally changing their gender marker is an extremely complicated process. As I understand it, it generally involves undergoing gender-affirming surgery, gathering a huge amount of documentation, finding people willing to act as guarantors, and going through a court review before the change can be approved.
For foreigners like me, it’s even more complicated because I would first need to change the gender marker on my passport issued by my country of citizenship.
Meanwhile, in the U.S. state where I now live, which is a blue state, I can simply select my preferred gender when applying for a driver’s license without having to provide any additional documentation.
My university also allows me to update my preferred name and gender on my student profile to reflect my gender identity.
Even my banking app lets me make these changes.
These might seem like small things to some people, but to me, they make an enormous difference.
**3. The social judgment and hostility in South Korea are on another level**
South Korea feels incredibly strict about gender-segregated spaces.
It’s a country where even someone accidentally entering the wrong restroom, such as a man walking into a women’s restroom, could potentially lead to someone calling the police.
I personally found that environment extremely uncomfortable and stressful to live in.
And it goes beyond restrooms.
Certain religious groups in South Korea can be extremely hostile toward LGBTQ+ people. Some don’t just express disagreement or disapproval.
They openly insult and verbally attack people like me.
When I lived in South Korea, I felt like I had to accept hatred and judgment as a normal part of everyday life.
But since moving here, I no longer feel like I have to live with that constant fear.
For the first time, I feel like I can actually breathe and live my life without constantly worrying about how other people might react to my identity.
That’s one of the biggest reasons why I left South Korea, and why I hope I never have to move back.
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