Hi everyone, I’m new here and I really need your opinions. I have a trip to Korea coming up soon, and because of that I was using HelloTalk. I saw a Korean guy there and I genuinely liked him, so later I added him on Instagram. After some time, he messaged me and we started talking. However, I wanted to make sure he wasn’t fake (you know there are many fake profiles on HelloTalk), so after a few days we had a video call and both of us felt reassured.
He was very warm and friendly toward me. Within just one week of meeting me, he told me that he liked me a lot, that I was exactly his type, that he had strong feelings for me, that he was in love with me, and that I didn’t love him back. Honestly, this felt a little strange to me because in my country people usually say these kinds of things after talking and getting to know each other for months.
As our conversations continued, I also started to like him a lot. However, we are completely different when it comes to communication, and he constantly blames me. Even if I say something sweet to him or act playful and affectionate, he reacts very strongly and gets angry. For example, at the beginning of our flirting stage, I sent him a message saying, “Did you fall asleep without saying good night to me? :(” and he replied, “Baby, if you want something from me, you should do it first.”
Unfortunately, my English is not very good. He patiently waits for me and explains things carefully, and I’m grateful to him for that. But after any argument, even if I say, “Maybe I misunderstood you, I’m sorry,” he still pressures me more and tells me to admit my fault. He even swears at me sometimes.
Another thing that bothers me is that people from HelloTalk follow him on Instagram, even though he says he doesn’t talk to anyone. But if he doesn’t talk to them, why is he following them? How can I trust him about this?
Also, he tells me that he doesn’t care about the men around me and that the possibility of me talking to another guy doesn’t bother him at all. This makes me feel like he doesn’t care enough about me.
He also expects me to constantly update him throughout the day. I wasn’t culturally used to this kind of communication at first, but I adapted very quickly and now I inform him frequently during the day. On top of that, he wants me to immediately stop my “bad habits” — at least the things he considers bad. It makes me feel like I always have to adjust myself to his expectations. However, whenever I tell him that I don’t like something he says or does, he gets angry immediately.
For the last two weeks, he says he has been working very hard so he can feel comfortable during my travel dates, so he is always tired and sleeps early. I want to video call him, but he doesn’t want to. He says, “I’m working this hard for your trip, so instead of expecting more from me, you should thank me and appreciate me.” He also says that before thinking about myself, I should first think about how he feels and try to see things from his perspective.
Honestly, I believe I’ve already been very understanding. I only want to video call for maybe five minutes and then hang up. However, when I told him this, he said, “You say five minutes, but our conversations always end up lasting more than an hour.” Even so, I still don’t think wanting a short call sometimes is unreasonable. Am I being unfair?
There’s also another thing. I already arranged the Airbnb and train tickets to go to another city outside Seoul. One day he told me that because renting a car there is expensive, he wanted me to handle the tickets and Airbnb. He also said that I shouldn’t think he’s “doing nothing.” I bought many gifts for him and I have absolutely no financial expectations from him. I’m handling everything myself, so I don’t understand why he said that, and honestly it hurt me.
I feel emotionally manipulated. Please share your honest opinions with me. Thank you in advance, and sorry for writing such a long post ☺️
submitted by /u/Letsbefriend5194
[link] [comments]
