I’ve been thinking about something regarding the gender divide in kpop fandoms and I’m curious to hear different perspectives, especially from women and men who come from places where being a kpop fan is heavily looked down upon, as well as those from places where it’s much more socially accepted. I feel like people’s experiences with the fandom might be quite different depending on where they’re from.
Where I’m from, being a kpop fan is already looked down upon, but being a guy takes it a step further, with people questioning your masculinity and making assumptions about your sexuality just because you’re into something that’s seen as a girls’ interest.
I made a post before about the gender divide in kpop fandoms, and while reading the comments, I had a bit of a brain wave about something I hadn’t really considered before.
I’m not trying to put everyone in a box or say that everyone fits these patterns, this is just based on my own observations and the general patterns and stereotypes associated with them.
I feel like women and men might approach social acceptance differently when something is heavily associated with one gender.
Women don’t necessarily need men to validate their interest in kpop, since they already have their own communities and people who share their interests. What they want from people outside the fandom is for them to stop looking down on them, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they want more men to get involved. Wanting your interests to be socially accepted and wanting more people to join your community are two very different things.
I don’t mean women want to keep men out or actively discourage them, but I think there’s a difference between being okay with male fans existing and actually being excited about having more of them, especially when they’re not into the same groups as you.
I once saw a post on X where women were frustrated about seeing male fans discussing kpop, saying they had this one good thing going for them only for men to come in and ruin it too and I could understand where that frustration might be coming from, but it still made me stop and think, what am I even doing here? Because of how badly women were treated for being kpop fans, I thought the space would be more welcoming towards guys who joined, but maybe I was giving myself too much importance and most women just don’t think about male fans as much as I assumed they would.
Something that makes me wonder about this even more is how having a male dominated fandom is often viewed negatively, even in places where kpop fandoms are more mixed and for legitimate reasons obviously. The same romanticised teenage behaviour that girls have towards male kpop idols might still be seen as weird, but when guys show similar behaviour towards female idols, it seems to be judged much more harshly. It’s interesting to see how the roles get switched and guys end up being seen as more of weirdos… I’m not saying the behaviours are exactly the same, but I do find it interesting how the reaction changes depending on who’s doing it.
This is all based on my personal experience, so I could be overlooking things or generalising based on a limited perspective. I’m still trying to figure this out, which is why I wanted to hear how women see it and whether I’m onto something or just looking at things too much from my own side of the experience.
Also, I’d appreciate it if people could be honest about how they actually feel rather than how they think they’re supposed to feel. I’m more interested in the ground reality than an idealised answer and I’d like people to focus on what’s actually being said rather than what they think I’m trying to say, because I’m still trying to figure out my own thoughts on this too.
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