Hi everyone, I’m 18 (turning 19 soon), a Korean citizen and U.S. green card holder. I moved to the U.S. when I was 8 and have grown up here since elementary school. I’m currently a high school senior committed to Duke for undergraduate studies.
My main dilemma is Korean citizenship, military service, and where to build my future.
I spent my teenage years growing up in America, so I understand the opportunities here and why my parents immigrated. They sacrificed a lot so I could have a better education and life, and I truly appreciate that. They strongly believe the smartest path is to stay in the U.S., eventually become an American citizen, and build my career here.
Their view is that many people in Korea wish they had U.S. opportunities, and that going back later could lead to regret, fewer opportunities, and unnecessary difficulty. They also believe giving up a green card would be a major mistake.
Part of why this feels urgent now is that my green card needs renewal as it expires in 2028, and my dad says I should begin deciding soon whether to fully commit to the U.S. path because becoming a U.S. citizen takes time.
At the same time, I feel strongly connected to Korea. I can see myself returning to Korea to live or work long-term. Part of me has wanted to experience adulthood there because it feels both familiar through my background and new through my own life experience. I think living there could challenge me and help me grow as a person. I want to try to keep my Korean citizenship if possible, and I also want to complete Korean military service if I can. Every male in my family has served, and I feel a sense of responsibility and curiosity about experiencing something that has been part of my family for generations. I also think it could be a meaningful period of discipline and growth rather than simply lost time.
All of my extended family lives in Korea, and we are a close family. One difficult part of growing up in the U.S. has been living far away from them, and at times I have felt pretty alone here outside of just my parents. My parents may also eventually need to return to Korea because of family responsibilities and assets, and part of me feels I would want to be there with them and the rest of my family.
Part of my struggle is that I don’t know firsthand what life in Korea would be like as an adult. I grew up mostly in the U.S., so I don’t know if things there are truly as bad as my parents describe, or if times have changed and there are still strong opportunities.
I’m aware that becoming a U.S. citizen would not automatically stop me from returning to Korea later. But emotionally, I feel caught between both countries. I’ve spent nearly half my life in Korea and half in the U.S., and I don’t fully feel like either place is completely home. Keeping Korean citizenship feels important to my identity because it is the only citizenship I’ve had since birth.
I’m also waiting on Korean university admissions results through the 재외국민 track, which come out in late June, so I may have the option of studying there directly.
My own thought was to attend Duke for four years, keep Korean citizenship for now, complete military service after graduation, and then decide whether to return to the U.S. for graduate school/work or build a future in Korea. Part of that idea was to use something like a reentry permit while serving so I could try to preserve my U.S. permanent residency.
My dad thinks that trying to preserve both paths is too risky and may not even work in practice. He believes relying on a reentry permit could fail, and that if I leave for military service I may eventually need to return to the U.S. through a visa instead. Because of that, he thinks I should choose one direction clearly sooner rather than later.
So I feel stuck between two sides:
If I simply follow my parents’ wishes and switch citizenship, I may regret closing the Korea option forever.
If I only do what I personally want after everything they sacrificed for me, I feel selfish and ungrateful.
Am I being unrealistic for seriously considering keeping Korean citizenship and pursuing a Korean path, or is this a reasonable option to keep open at my age? Any type of advice is welcome. Thank you!
한국어가 더 편하시면 한국어로 답변해주셔도 됩니다. 감사합니다.
submitted by /u/jjuny_07
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