TLDR: I’ve dropped $20K+ on kpop this year for my ult group. I am financially able to afford it but the dangers of k-pop consumerism / parasocialism (which I am aware of) make me conflicted.
I’ve been into kpop for almost a decade now, I’ve had periods where I was very in the weeds of k-pop news & supporting my fav group, but I never actually spent too much. These were college / teenage years.
Fast forward a few years – I’ve been very fortunate to work a very well paying job, zero debt, and am single. I do have long hours, but the salary and WFH flexibility I have no reason to complain. K-pop is one of my main hobbies that offers some sort of escape from the corporate rat race.
I fell in love with my current ult group a few years ago. They’ve become the only group I really follow and I am super proud of them & passionate about supporting them. This isn’t a “they saved my life” or “found me in a dark time” thing. I just genuinely gravitated towards them.
However, I feel like I just snowballed crazily the past year:
- 2-3 fancalls / fansigns
- Attending concerts in korea
- VIP for multiple tour stops
- Buying merch / expensive items (like signed polas)
You can see how this adds up to quite a lot of money. Now I’m able to fortunately afford this, but I know compared to the normal fan this is probably crazy. What’s insane is this is only a fraction of the events the rich Chinese fansites probably attend + spend – which I of course cannot compete with and is mind blowing.
I’ve been into k-pop long enough to be wary of the parasocialism and consumerism. I have not and will not ever stalk my ults or go to the airport to see them. I know I have zero chance of dating them and would never protest if my ult bias was found to be dating.
But I still knowingly fall for the following, which makes me feel conflicted:
- The ‘idol’ persona – I obviously still find my ult bias / group very attractive and get starstruck and want to see them more in the flesh
- Related to the first bullet, but wanting to interact with them more. This is definitely the culprit of doing fancalls/fansigns + going to multiple tour stops. You get that ‘high’ and happiness from getting interactions and being recognized and it’s a domino effect.
- Consumerism – all the things I buy are just sitting there. And signed albums and polas that you swipe your card with really don’t become fulfilling over time vs. those you win yourself.
The concerts were amazing experiences, and I’ve met A LOT of wonderful people the past year. Seeing my ult group brings me a lot of happiness (though I am NOT dependent on them for it). Just genuinely have so much fun and a great time, and I let my inner fangirl/fanboy come out.
But the traveling to a different country just to see your favs, going the distance with spending on fancalls/fansigns, the multiple concert stops (w/ expensive resale VIP tickets), and especially the part where I crave more interactions and want my ult group to recognize me….. it’s bugging me inside whether I’ve long crossed beyond the line of what is healthy.
I’d be curious to hear other people’s thoughts.
submitted by /u/Previous_Mine_6040
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