A lot of people are making posts and asking what it would take to forgive Kiss of Life. I wanted to discuss the basics of what an apology should be, regardless of which group committed which offenses.
- Apologize to the communities you’ve harmed.
A proper apology addresses exactly who the person has harmed.
- Acknowledge what went wrong.
A genuine apology will address specifically what happened and HOW it was wrong. If there’s no specifics about what they learned how will someone know the artist has actually educated themselves.
- Don’t center your own feelings
Anytime someone mentions how difficult a period of time was or how hard they’re working it feels like they are asking for pity while making an apology.
- Acknowledge what could have been done better
Some things are pretty cut and dry, but others can be discussed. For example, the KIOF live. A hip hop theme is not inherently insidious. They could’ve talked about their favorite artists, played some of their favorite songs. They could have talked about how hip hop music inspires not only them as people, but also artists. How hip hop influences their own music. They could still do that in an apology, and if they genuinely loved hip hop that would shine through. Show that other people of color aren’t just a caricature to them.
- Don’t expect forgiveness
No one that you’ve harmed owes you forgiveness, no matter how well you might apologize or how sorry you actually are. Some things are just dealbreakers for people, and that’s okay.
If someone without context doesn’t know what you are apologizing for, it’s not a proper apology. If they don’t know what specifically you are educating yourself on, it’s not a good apology. And some people forgive in time when it’s been proven that the person actual made an effort to better themselves.
There’s a weird expectation of kpop fans for marginalized communities to automatically forgive the people who have offended them. But how many of us use music as a way to bring us joy and then are bombarded by not only artists being ignorant, but fans as well? Told that we are arrogant for not accepting apologies that don’t even address us properly. These artists treat us like caricatures but fail to make a genuine apology by addressing us as actual people. They’re too scared to acknowledge the specifics of what they have done wrong, in fear of fans actually agreeing for once that their favorite artists actually DO need to better themselves. A genuine apology is more than just empty promises of self-improvement.
submitted by /u/Correct_Mix_5163
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