not sure if this is the place for such a nuanced topic but it’s something I’ve noticed lately especially on sites such as twitter/x.
I’ve been a kpop fan since 09 and around mid to late 3rd gen, I’ve noticed an uptick in fans misgendering of more effeminate men in boy groups. Usually the excuse is “Oh I’m not doing it in a conservative way but in a queer way” but honestly i would argue that a good chunk of fans are doing it in a conservative/sometimes racist way. If you’re unfamiliar, a common racist stereotype against Asian men is that they are naturally more effeminate and therefore are not “real” men. How many of us have shown our non k-pop friends/family an idol and had them called women/gay etc due to their appearance. This doesn’t always happen to the most “feminine” member in a group but members that are deemed to be effeminate definitely get the brunt of this microaggression.
A recent example that may have started from a place of good will is the boy group XLOV. For those who are unfamiliar, XLOV is a rookie boy group with genderless concept meaning they lean heavily into androgyny. Recently a member said during a fansign that they dont mind being referred to as princess, diva etc because they know who they are. Unfortunately fans took this as a go ahead to start misgendering him and the whole group. What started as ‘its okay to call me diva/princess” morphed into ” x member is nonbinary and goes by she/her”. If you go into said member’s tag on x/twitter you will find a lot of tweets not referring to him as she/her and girl/saying hes on estrogen etc. While these comments in themselves are not offensive, this is not what the idol said. This is common in international circles. If an idol shows even the slightest hint of being gender non conforming, they then become a character that the fandom will most likely head canon to be different then what they actually portray themselves as. This can range from being in good faith to being downright stereotypical.
That being said, I don’t think this is always down out of malice. I’ve noticed that some young girls/women in boy group fandoms want to feel that they can relate to male idols thus they project certain labels upon them such as calling male idols lesbians/etc. There is nothing wrong with wanting to relate to an idol you admire. I also think it’s fine to refer to male idols as baby girl/princess etc but the problem comes in when these labels always are thrown at idols who are deemed to be effeminate/more feminine then their peers. I think a lot of fans are unwilling to unpack that stereotype/bias because in their minds they want to convince themselves its always in a non bigoted “queer” way. I think we forget that when it comes to certain aspects of gender identity, consent is important. If any idol such as Wonbin doesnt mind being referred to as princess/older sister then I think it’s okay to use those terms in regards to him but a line is crossed when fans start referring to him as a woman because frankly that’s what they see him as.
Thoughts? Anyone else notice this in their fandom space?
submitted by /u/External-Molasses-50
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