PR (Public Relations) exists—and I feel like a lot of K-pop fans forget that.
I’m not saying every idol is fake. I’m not saying their smiles are lies or their friendships are all an act. But it’s important to recognize that everything we see is curated. From their personalities on variety shows to how close they seem as a group—much of it is crafted by their company to fit a concept, an image, or a marketable identity.
Some groups come across as chaotic besties, others as professional or distant. That might be real—or it might be company instructions. Even the “these idols don’t care about their idol image” content we love is edited and approved before release. We’re not seeing the raw truth. We’re seeing what they want us to see.
That also applies to the ships fans obsess over. Two idols laughing together might be genuine, or it might be part of an assigned dynamic for fanservice. It’s very possible that people we “ship” don’t even like each other off-camera—and we’ll never know.
And then there’s the issue of idols being labeled “problematic” or “cold” because they didn’t speak out on a certain issue. That kind of assumption is unfair. Most idols don’t have the freedom to speak publicly about controversial topics, even if they personally care. Silence is often enforced—either by fear or by PR policy. Even the idols who seem to “not care about image” may still be following a carefully structured brand.
What gets to me the most is the parasocial side of K-pop—when people start falling in love with an idol, not as an artist, but as the person they think they know. It’s easy to forget that everything we’re shown is filtered, edited, and usually heavily monitored. Their behavior is shaped by what their company allows, and what will sell.
After the Seungri Burning Sun scandal, I personally found it hard to fully trust any idol or group again. It made me realize that we truly don’t know what happens behind the scenes—and putting idols on a pedestal or seeing them as perfect is just… dangerous. No amount of pretty content guarantees a good person.
I’m not saying we need to become cold-hearted or analyze every moment to figure out what’s “real.” That’s not our business. We’re here to enjoy the music, the performances, the art. But I wish more people would approach it with some emotional distance. Obsessing over idols, defending them like they’re your best friend, or projecting romantic fantasies onto them—it’s not healthy. Not for the fans, and definitely not for the idols either.
Love the art. Appreciate the effort. But please remember: you don’t actually know them. And that’s okay.
submitted by /u/nyxescence
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