I quietly interact on Twitter/X in the Kpop world sometimes. I’ve recently come across more and more posts getting on people for saying “oh I thought this thing about this idol because of this reason.” People will then be like “oh my god you people are so parasocial and weird it’s none of our business,” while I agree with that general statement, I don’t think it’s inherently bad to discuss a…. public figure? Especially as a fan who watches their content to be like “oh I noticed this thing.” Usually people aren’t like definitively speaking either, it’s just an observation.
For example, recently there was a lighthearted post about a certain group all being mama’s boys/loving their moms. It spurred further discussion about how “oh yeah they never talk about their dads, only their moms,” some people even saying, “I thought X actually had divorced parents or has a single mom.”
I know divorce and single parenthood is a touchy subject in Korean culture but I think that sucks. There shouldn’t be any shame behind it and maybe that’s why I’m downplaying that specific example?
The amount of people getting mad about it “not being your business” was crazy to me. Nobody said it was. Nobody was demanding answers. They simply said “oh yeah, I thought this because (for example) they said my mom’s new apartment not my parents’ new apartment.” I did see one person say in their culture they would consider it ill mannered to talk about that which I can understand. At the same time though, I wish we didn’t think people had evil intentions by simply being like “oh I just thought his parents were divorced or something.”
I think people throw around the word “parasocial” too much. Parasocial literally means to take an interest in someone you don’t know. Good or bad. If I said something good about an idol, that is still parasocial, I do not know them. Yet people will get mad when you point out something an idol volunteered themselves like “I haven’t spoken to my brother in three years,” and you say something like “oh I guess they aren’t close.”
Yes, don’t demand answers about an idols life. Respect their privacy. Stop assuming everyone has evil intentions. Stop acting like people “care too much,” when it’s an absent minded tweet the idol will likely never see unless it gets made into a big deal.
submitted by /u/Shot_Damage_1794
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