So I’m in a Korean club at my college (located in America) I am 24M and there’s 3 other people who are basically like the officers of the club. I’m the vice president and there’s this guy who I hate a lot and I’m pretty sure he hates me too. I am Korean American, he’s Korean Korean. At the beginning of the semester we all met, we all agreed to speak 반말 despite some varying ages. He’s 25 or 26 I think? I feel like he’s been bullying me since the beginning of the club starting back 1 year ago. He think all I do is try to talk to girls and objectify women and not work hard at the club. (All which are not true) Eventually we started like actually having bad energy around us because of his thoughts about me. I have not instigated anything though.
At a group trip he went off on me in Korean and English, but when I tried to say my peace he kept cutting me off and I eventually gave up and said I am not going to try to defend myself in a language I’m not completely fluent in. In this exchange in front of like every club member which happen to be Korean Korean women, said the exact thing he told me: that I just joined to talk to girls, don’t work hard for the club and objectify women. I actually ended up crying (I know I’m a bitch lmao 😭) like all these false ass allegations that aren’t even close to trueeeee
For the objectifying women thing: I thought he was cool when we FIRST first met and he asked me over text if I liked anyone and I said something along the lines of “we just joined the club and I think these two girls are pretty so I couldn’t choose cause I don’t know them really.” 🤨 idk how that is objectifying women when I am a very respectable young man.
There were many times I felt like he was subtly bullying me by talking down to me but after this text I got yesterday I want your opinion. Maybe I’m wrong because of cultural differences! He has also made fun of me for how I talk! He told me to stop talking black even though I was not, black American culture is American culture! I wasn’t even being racist or insensitive. I just say bruh and come on mannn!! and the new lingo thats gotten popular on Instagram in the past few years. He also cited me listening to SpongeBob next to him too loudly while he was working on homework as rude af? I usually don’t listen above over half volume in public.?? He could have said to please turn it down if it bothered him.
Anyway back to the main story: The president sent out a group text to members saying things like “this year you guys are the officers and we are planning to do ___, _. Since I was filling out paperwork to reinstate our club I needed everyone’s phone number. In the kakao talk app I’m pretty sure there isn’t a way to look up your friends’ numbers directly, so I asked the chat “ , ___의 전화 번호 알려줄수있어요? 지금은 내가 club application 가은거를 작성 해서” (person a, person b, can you please give me your phone number? Because I am filling out forms for our club) because I didn’t wanna try looking forever for MAYBE finding it. They could type it in 10 seconds. The president who is cool sent the numbers of them about 5 mins after, but then 1 hour later he responds with “그걸 나한터 왜 물어” (why would you ask me that) I feel like he’s just being an ass? My friend told me to say “필요하니까 물어봤지“ I asked because I need it” Please let me know if I’m tripping or if I need to stand up for myself. I’m sick of these micro aggressions….
submitted by /u/Junekim10
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