This isn’t meant to put anyone down or elevate one group over another. I’m just sharing a personal experience that shaped how I see myself. I know this might sound stereotypical to some, but I grew up in an area where there weren’t many Asian people. Most people around me were white, though I also grew up with a couple of brown and black friends. Growing up as an Asian lad, I didn’t feel great about how I looked. I was mocked at times for my features, especially my eyes, and over time that really stayed with me. I became very insecure and constantly compared myself to actors, celebrities, and people around me. Admiring their looks gradually turned into distancing myself from my own appearance.
I’ve struggled with body dysmorphia from a very young age, and for years I didn’t really see people who looked like me in a positive light, especially in the media. For as long as I can remember, I really wanted to be an actor of some kind, but the way Asian men were usually represented in Western media made me quietly doubt whether there was really a place for someone who looked like me.
Before all of this, I was a huge alt and indie music-type guy, and K-pop wasn’t something I ever thought I’d connect with. During Covid though, I came across K-pop for the first time, and something shifted. For the first time, I saw people in the spotlight with features I could actually relate to. What stood out to me was that K-pop isn’t just Korean idols. There are idols from China, Japan, Taiwan, Thailand, Vietnam, and all across Asia, with a wide range of looks. Seeing that diversity gave me a sense of familiarity I didn’t realise I was missing.
I also noticed something new for me. I started admiring and even developing crushes on both male and female idols, which I hadn’t really experienced before. I think a big part of that was finally seeing Asian features represented in a way that felt confident and celebrated. On top of that, the music itself ended up helping me through some genuinely tough times. During times of anxiety and other mental issues, it became something grounding and comforting, which surprised me given the experimental sounds and how far removed it was from my usual taste.
I’m not saying it instantly fixed my self-image. I still have a long way to go when it comes to fully accepting how I look. But it did change my perspective. It helped me appreciate Asian features more and, by extension, start appreciating my own. By no stretch does it make me think I look as good as the idols, but it’s helped me see beauty in features I never really valued before 🙂
Just wanted to share this in case anyone else has had a similar experience.
submitted by /u/SpiritualEquinox
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