Hi all,
I’m a Korean-American currently living in the U.S. I spent about 15 years here and 10 years in Korea. My parents are both Korean. While I’m grateful that they sacrificed a lot to move here and give my siblings and me a better life, my upbringing was very traditional.
One of the biggest struggles for me growing up was my mom constantly comparing me to others during middle and high school. That experience still really affects me to this day.
Now that I’m financially independent and earning around $80k, my mom is asking me to give her 10% of my income. She wants me to put it aside so she can use it in the future. Is this something that’s normal in Korean households—where children are expected to financially support their parents?
For context: my dad is technically a millionaire, but it’s mostly through inherited assets in Korea rather than liquid cash. In fact, earlier this year I had to lend him $25k because the dollar was so expensive. Despite his wealth in assets, we’ve always lived very frugally—our cars are about 15 years old, and we’ve never gone on a family vacation, partly due to family issues but also financial reasons.
When I mentioned this to my mom, she brushed it off and said that’s his money. My mom was a stay-at-home mom, and it seems clear she doesn’t really want to live with my dad anymore. At the same time, she also doesn’t want a divorce—likely because of money, but also because of the extra trauma it might cause me and my siblings.
Any thoughts on this?
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